


hope I'm unbreakable

by mainvocalrocky (infinityxu)



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Appendicitis, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sickfic, astro is a terrified family, rocky just wants to go home
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-01 00:15:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13282878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinityxu/pseuds/mainvocalrocky
Summary: Rocky's appendix wants out, and Bin learns that he's not quite the unbreakable rock he's always seemed to be.





	1. cracked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! This has kinda been sitting around unedited in my drafts so I thought I'd post it, although I may not finish it?? I hope you guys enjoy it though ♥♥ Thank you so much for clicking!!

It was the first time Bin ever woke up to the sounds of sobs coming from outside of his door.

 

Dongmin didn’t seem to notice. He was softly snoring away on the bottom bunk, which ruled out any possibility of being him. Bin was relieved, but of course, that only meant it could be any of the four others sleeping in the other room.

 

The sobbing was quiet, suppressed. Bin wondered for a moment if anyone was out there with the mystery member, consoling him, but he heard no words, and only a single set of padded footsteps.

 

Bin’s heart dropped when the sobs were suddenly too quiet to be heard, when the footsteps stopped. They seemed to fade off into a direction opposite of where they came from, which led him to believe that this member didn’t go back to his room.

 

Bin had to go look. He was worried out of his mind since the second he started hearing the sounds, and he couldn’t just lie in his bed and wonder - knowing that someone was out there, suffering.

 

He started to carefully, quietly crawl out of his bed, and climb down the latter. He didn’t want to wake Dongmin; attract any unneeded attention.

 

He managed to get to the floor, with Dongmin still fast asleep. He gave a quiet sigh, carefully turning the doorknob and closing the door behind him, leaving the sleeping Dongmin completely oblivious. Thankfully.

 

“Hello?” Bin called nervously once he was a safe distance from the door, loud enough to call into one direction but quiet enough not to wake Dongmin.. He didn’t see anyone right away, with all the lights off.

 

“Bin?” he heard a croaked voice from the living room, but he couldn’t make out just who it was by listening. He took quiet steps toward the living room, worrying more with every step closer he took.

 

Minhyuk was curled up on the couch - arms held tightly around his abdomen, and although it was dark, Bin could just barely see tears flooding his pained eyes.

 

Bin was beside him in seconds, hands hovering over his shaking frame. Minhyuk was trying to situate himself through his tears. Sitting up was out of the question, though, it seemed, and through this Bin was starting to worry that the younger was in pain.

 

He sat with Minhyuk for a few minutes, trying to calm him down. Minhyuk broke open when he saw Bin. His breaths hitched and his tears only came with more volume, and Bin was worried that he was making it worse - although, he wondered now if he was breaking because he wasn’t alone anymore.

 

“What’s wrong, Rocky?” Bin asked softly, his hand still on Minhyuk’s back. The latter was leaning against him, his head on his shoulder, visibly exhausted.

 

“I thought it was a muscle cramp,” Minhyuk hardly murmured in response. His words came out pained and in between short breaths. He sank a bit closer into Bin, “but it - it just hurts, a lot. I don’t feel good…”

 

It explained why he was hiding out here. He wanted to lie down, but with the way he was crying he was afraid of waking up his members. Of course Minhyuk would put something like that over asking for help, no matter how bad he felt.

 

“When did it start?” he asked him, a hand running through Minhyuk’s dark hair, It was damp, the back of his head especially. He was sweating for sure, but it didn’t seem to be a fever - he was warm, but not hot. Bin was wracking his brain trying to figure this out.

 

“After practice.” Minhyuk mumbled dejectedly.

 

Bin frowned. “Minhyuk,” he started, “we were only at practice this morning.” he chewed his lip, hoping it came across just how concerning that was. It meant he had been feeling bad since that morning, and he was suffering this whole time.

 

“It wasn’that bad earlier,” he stammered defensively. This breath hitched at the end of his sentence and Bin pulled him closer, lowering his head into his lap so he could be more comfortable.

 

The poor guy was shaking, arms pressed so tightly around his waist Bin was afraid he would break. He couldn’t ever recall seeing Minhyuk like this - even the times he’d twisted ankles or landed hard enough to bruise in all his years of dancing, it was never enough to reduce him to this. A sobbing mess, curled up on the couch with his head in Bin’s lap.

 

“Have you taken anything? Medicine?” Bin asked, but Minhyuk only shook his head. Of course he hadn’t. “Okay...okay, how bad is it? One to ten, ten is the worst.”

 

Minhyuk took a couple of seconds to answer. Bin knew where the hesitance came from - Minhyuk must have wanted to keep the number low enough so it wouldn’t worry Bin, but he was in enough pain to where that was sounding like a bad idea.

 

“Eight.” he murmured softly, sniffling.

 

Bin took in a shaky breath, rubbing Minhyuk’s arm. That was a high number.

 

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Bin told Minhyuk, making careful movements to lift his head from his lap before he slid off of the couch - but he made sure to slide a pillow underneath his head. It looked like Minhyuk wanted to try to get up to follow him, but it was either the pain or exhaustion that stopped him from moving any further.

 

“Where’re you going…?” Minhyuk murmured, curling a fist into the fabric of the pillow.

 

“I’m gonna get Dongmin.” Bin said, pressing a kiss to Minhyuk’s sweaty forehead. Minhyuk’s eyes were getting bleary, much worse than before. He was breaking. “We need to find a way to help you.”

 

“You don’t have to…” he muttered in response, but his eyes were telling Bin  _ please _ a thousand times, and it was tearing him apart. He wished Minhyuk was able to tell him what he was really feeling, but there were some lines that he would never allow himself to cross, and it angered Bin. It angered him to tears.

 

Bin tried to smile at him, he really did - but it only came out pained. “Don’t move.”

 

Bin had to hurry. He was back at his door in a few seconds, opening it carefully and approaching Dongmin’s bed on the bottom bunk. He was so peaceful, sleeping - Bin felt bad for waking him for a moment, the guy hardly got enough sleep as it was, but Minhyuk needed help - and Bin was too scared to admit that he had no idea how to do that.

 

“Minnie,” Bin called softly, taking a grip on Dongmin’s upper arm and shaking it a bit. Dongmin groaned quietly and scrunched his eyes shut, stretching his arms up before his eyes finally met Bin’s. He caught the latter’s worried expression almost right away, and started to push himself up.

 

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Dongmin pressed, his voice sounding oddly clear for someone who had just opened his eyes.

 

“I’m okay. Minhyuk isn’t.” Bin murmured, eyes suddenly tearing up.

 

“What happened, Bin?” Dongmin asked again, taking a few seconds to wake himself a bit more before pushing himself out of bed.

 

“I don’t know. He’s sick, I think - but he said he’s in pain, too - I asked him, to scale, and he said eight, Dongmin, eight’s  _ bad _ \- ” Bin rambled, his lower lip quivering when the severity of the situation finally caught up to him. He felt Dongmin’s hand curl around his, calm, dark eyes meeting his.

 

“Slow down. Don’t freak yourself out, love. Where is he?” Dongmin asked, keeping his voice level and calm. Bin knew he needed Dongmin for this. He was beyond thankful that Dongmin was here - he wasn’t sure what he would do without him.

 

Bin squeezed Dongmin’s hand before using it to lead him out into the hallway, and the short distance it took to the living room. Minhyuk was still curled into himself on the couch, and Bin let go the breath he’d been holding, glad that Minhyuk wasn’t stupid enough to follow him.

 

But god, somehow he suddenly looked a hundred times worse.

 

Dongmin’s hand slid from Bin’s as he knelt forward, in front of the couch. Minhyuk hardly reacted to his sudden presence. He only breathed huffs and stared, eyes pained and unfocused.

 

“Hey,” Dongmin hand a hand down Minhyuk’s arm, trying to let him know he was there. Minhyuk’s eyes opened a bit more, and he seemed to open his mouth to say something, but couldn’t muster the energy to go through with it. “Tell me what hurts. What’s going on with you?”

 

Minhyuk’s breaths were shaky again, but he really was trying. “‘S my stomach,” he slurred out, “hurts. Feel sick.”

 

Dongmin seemed skeptic when his eyebrows pressed together, which confused Bin, because it was obvious how bad Minhyuk was feeling.

 

“Can you try to lay flat on your back for me? At least your upper body, you don’t have to move your legs.” Dongmin started calmly, and Minhyuk gave him a small nod, slowly and carefully unravelling himself so his abdomen lay flat on the couch. His fists were curled and it was clear that this was causing him much more pain than before, but he let Dongmin continue whatever he was doing.

 

First, he lifted Minhyuk’s sweater so he had better access. He pressed a hand to the lower left side of Minhyuk’s abdomen - the younger flinched, but it seemed to be more out of the sudden touch of Dongmin’s cold hands rather than any pain. Dongmin gave a small sigh, and moved his hands to the middle now, pressing again - more of a reaction this time, Minhyuk seemed to want to curl in at that touch, but he stayed flat, chewing his lip raw.

 

It was when Dongmin pressed on the lower right side that Minhyuk cried out, pushing every part of Dongmin away from him before curling back into a defensive ball. “Why’d you - ” he breathed, unable to finish his sentence when it broke off with a sob.

 

“It’s his appendix.” Dongmin murmured nervously and suddenly as he stood, and it was the first time tonight that Bin saw his calm composure fade off. “We need to get him to a hospital, it has to be removed.”

 

“ _ What? _ ” Bin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He’d thought it was just a stomach ache, maybe something a little worse but the word  _ hospital  _ never crossed his mind as a possibility, not even once.

 

The lights to the living room suddenly switched on, and Bin turned, finding their three remaining members standing in the hall. Jinwoo looked absolutely mortified - they must have heard Minhyuk’s scream, and seeing the scene right now didn’t do much in comforting. Myungjun was half awake and clinging to Jinwoo’s arm, and Sanha towered over the both of them after he clambered out of the room.

 

“What’s going on?” Jinwoo’s voice was shaky but stern when he joined them in the living room, looking tempted to check on their dancer but afraid that he might hurt him.

 

“We need to get him to a hospital, hyung,” Dongmin told him, and Jinwoo’s eyes suddenly flew open, “it’s his appendix, that’s what’s hurting him - the remove it, it could kill him if it bursts - ”

 

“It could  _ kill him _ ?” That was the first words Bin heard out of Sanha, and their youngest member looked about ready to cry.

 

“Okay, okay. I’ll call a staff member, maybe our manager will pick up - ” Jinwoo stammered, heading over to their kitchen, where their only phone was, “they’ll drive us. It’ll be okay.”

 

Bin chewed his lip. They weren’t allowed cell phones for now - they were still a new group, and their company insisted that cellphones would take away from their focus - but in times like this, being able to press a name to call someone was something they needed. This was an  _ emergency _ .

 

Sanha was beside Minhyuk, trying his hardest to keep his voice steady while he talked to him. Minhyuk was unravelled again, lying on his back with his head on the pillow, sweat beads forming on his forehead and foggy eyes trying to focus on Sanha.

 

Bin’s stomach dropped when he stepped beside Sanha, watery eyes on Minhyuk. He was dropping so fast.

 

He was shaking, imagining what would have happened if he hadn’t gotten up when he heard Minhyuk walk out. Wondering if this would have killed him tonight without any of them realizing. Fearing that they would have woken up to -

 

“He’ll be okay, yeah? We have time,” Myungjun murmured, wrapping his arms around Bin’s and laying his sleepy head on his shoulder, “it doesn’t become life-threatening until the appendix bursts...we have time. He’ll be okay.”

 

“How do you know it hasn’t burst?” Dongmin asked, his voice still a bit shaken.

 

“Well,” Myungjun’s shaky voice started, rubbing at his eyes, “how could you tell it was his appendix?”

 

“I pressed his right side, that was when he screamed.” Dongmin explained softly, and he looked close to doubting himself, but Myungjun nodded.

 

“If it's burst, it'll hurt all over. I don't think he'd be as calm as he is right now, either.” Myungjun told him. Of course, Minhyuk wasn't exactly  _ calm _ . His breaths were labored and he was scared, but he wasn't screaming, or crying. “Do you know if he's thrown up?”

 

“I don't know. But he said he feels sick.” Dongmin remembered, and Bin nodded.

 

“Then he's okay, for now.” Myungjun said with a small sigh, lowering himself to Minhyuk's level. Bin would have thought he was calm, but when his hands moved to the edge of the couch, he noticed just how much he was shaking.

 

“How do you know all this?” Dongmin murmured, looking a bit helpless.

 

“I had the same thing, a couple years ago. It was before I joined the company.” Myungjun said, although, his words seemed to be more directed to their sick dancer rather than Dongmin.

 

Minhyuk's eyes seemed a little calmer - he found comfort in knowing their eldest knew the kind of pain he was feeling, that he wasn't alone.

 

“Wha’do they do?” Minhyuk murmured quietly, his tone shaky and words a little slurred. He was still scared, Bin was sure. None of them liked hospitals, yeah, but Minhyuk  _ hated  _ them. He was always worrying, always afraid that something would happen that could end his career as a dancer.

 

Bin hoped that Myungjun understood that that was what he needed to bring across.

 

Myungjin lifted his shirt a bit, on his knees when he pointed to a little scar, in the same spot that was hurting Minhyuk so bad. “It's just a little scar, see?” Myungjun carefully took Minhyuk's hand, so his fingers ran over it. It was small, faded. About half the size of a pinky finger. “It heals pretty fast. And they only keep you in the hospital until the pain stops, so you can go home right after.”

 

Myungjun was smiling at Minhyuk when the younger weekly ran a finger along the scar. He seemed a little out of it, but knowing what was coming, rather than going in blind, was comforting him.

 

Jinwoo wandered out of the kitchen and into the garage without a word, and Bin took that was they were here, and he signaled Bin. Myungjun and Sanha were careful, but they started in helping Minhyuk sit up, at least.

 

“Hyung,” Sanha murmured, and at first, all three healthy members looked over - that could've been directed at any of them, but Sanha’s eyes were on Minhyuk. “During practice today, when you left for so long…” his voice quieted, “you were sick, weren't you?”

 

Minhyuk's eyes were avoiding Sanha’s gaze, and his head was lowered, but he nodded.

 

Bin felt his heart squeeze. Dammit.

 

Minhyuk had excused himself from practice after the first hour, simply saying he was walking back to the dorms to get a sweater. None of them really questioned it. It was cold outside, and they had the door open for a while to cool them off - of course he wanted a sweater. It made sense.

 

But when he came back, he didn't have a sweater. He even looked a little confused when Dongmin asked him why he didn't have one, but Minhyuk just brushed it off. Saying he'd changed his mind.

 

Now, it made sense.

 

“Minhyuk,” Myungjun murmured, “why didn't you tell anyone?”

 

Minhyuk looked about ready to break again. His glassy eyes shone with tears again. “I just wann’ed it to stop,” he blubbered, “I didn't wan’worry anyone…”

 

“Hey, hey. Don't cry, okay?” Bin told him, kneeling in front of him, squeezing his clammy hands. “You just gotta tell us earlier, next time. It might spare you some of this pain.”

 

Bin understood, he really did. Minhyuk must have thought it was over after he threw up, and in his mind, there was no point in telling anyone if it wasn't relevant anymore. He would have gone on hiding it.

 

Jinwoo was back in the living room, his eyes teary with worry and eyebrows pulled together. Dongmin nodded, already knowing that he was here to tell them that car was ready - and Myungjun and Sanha lifted Minhyuk off of the couch.

 

He didn’t seem to be able to hold himself up anymore. He was leaning primarily on Sanha for support, his legs shaking beneath him, but he was pushing through anyway. Of course he was.

 

“Do you think you’ll be okay to walk, Rocky?” Jinwoo asked, taking a few steps closer.

 

Minhyuk seemed hesitant, but his head bobbed. “It jus’ hurts.” he murmured.

 

“Should I carry you on my back? It might be easier on your stomach.” Sanha suggested, trying to lower himself to his height.

 

“Do that. Taking steps might hurt him.” Myungjun said, rubbing Minhyuk’s arm.

 

Sanha didn’t waste any time. He bent his knees and urged Minhyuk to push himself up. He whimpered when Sanha pulled him up, but he managed, his arms loosely wrapped around Sanha’s neck and his face buried into his shoulder.

 

“Okay, be careful going down the stairs with him.”  Myungjun warned. “How far is the hospital?”

 

“Manager said about fifteen minutes.” Jinwoo said as he led his members out to the staircase. The rest hurried down first but Sanha made sure to take his time with Minhyuk - it was obvious that this was only getting worse with time, but he couldn’t risk hurrying down the stairs with him.

 

Sanha nearly tripped, and panic surged up Bin’s throat for a moment. If Sanha fell on the concrete steps with another person on his back, he would definitely split his head open - and Minhyuk wouldn’t get out of that okay either.

 

But Bin made sure to steady Sanha once he got to the bottom with the rest of them. Minhyuk’s breaths were quiet whimpers now. His hands dug into Sanha’s shirt and it was clear that the trip downstairs was hurting him,  _ a lot _ , but there was nothing else they could do.

 

They piled into the car and Minhyuk insisted on sitting up. It made sense, they didn’t have much space to lie him down and even if they did, Bin was afraid that having him in that position might hurt him a lot more than it needed to in a moving car.

 

“You’re gonna be okay.” Bin murmured softly, a hand pulling Minhyuk’s head a bit closer to him so he could press a kiss to his forehead. The poor guy was still shaking, whimpering even worse than before and Bin had to wonder if he was finally breaking open- if their unbreakable rock wasn’t really unbreakable after all.

 

Bin squeezed his hand, sighing quietly. “You’re okay.”

 

He had to hope so, anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bought tickets to see astro in NYC and I'm living!! omg,,, guys im so so excited
> 
> as always please come talk to me [here](http://radamn.tumblr.com) on tumblr!! Thank you for reading I love yall so so much ♥♥♥


	2. hoping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bin was glad they were all in the same place now, at least - maybe it was all a sign that things weren’t as bad as they were earlier.
> 
> That was, until, he heard Sanha yelling for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello!! all of ur really sweet comments motivated me for another chapter omg. I hope you like it!! It's 3am so I'm sorry for mistakes! There will be one more chapter after this ♥

Minhyuk was refusing to get out of the car.

 

So far, everything had gone fairly easy, as easy as things could go in a situation like this. He didn’t object to being taken to the hospital, he didn’t object to Sanha carrying him down the staircase, he didn’t object to being helped into the car. Now, though, he was objecting very strongly, clinging to Bin with a force he didn’t know Minhyuk could muster up in his current state.

 

It was strange to think, but he really couldn’t stand seeing Minhyuk like this - because it wasn’t like him at all. His fear had taken over him now, and he wasn’t letting go of Bin, even if, technically, his life depended on it.

 

“Rocky, you gotta listen to me,” Bin murmured, trying to get his attention somehow. His hands were warm and he was worried that all of this stress was starting a fever, which was really the last thing he needed on top of all of this. “They’re not gonna hurt you. You’ll be asleep - right, MJ?” he looked to their eldest for confirmation.

 

Myungjun was on the other seat, gripping Minhyuk’s arm. He nodded. “You won’t feel any of it, I  _ promise. _ ”

 

“If you do, I’ll buy you enough face masks to last you a whole year.” Bin tried, and he felt Minhyuk’s tense posture loosen up a bit at that, but he was still shaking like a leaf.

 

“Come on - you gotta get out of the car, Minhyuk. The longer you drag this out, the more it’ll hurt you.” Myungjun’s voice seemed to get sadder as his sentence went on. The worry was all there - of course, Myungjun had experienced this before. He knew exactly how Minhyuk was feeling right now. 

 

Minhyuk finally loosened his grip on Bin, and he couldn’t have been more relieved about it.

 

“Do you think you can get out of the car?” Bin asked carefully, although, Minhyuk already seemed to be testing it out himself. He could move okay but he knew that all of the jostling around would cause him pain - Myungjun had even said in the car, that there was a point for him where even taking a step would hurt him. He hoped it wasn’t that bad for Minhyuk.

 

Bin had to guess that he was clambering out of the car on his own because he didn’t want to rely on anyone else for him - he must have hated all of this attention he was getting.

 

Bin didn’t see this often, so he wasn’t so sure of what to do to help him. He couldn’t just  _ not  _ worry about his  _ best friend _ , none of them could.

 

“There - okay, good.” Myungjun praised when Minhyuk finally managed to stand outside of the car, using it as support. “Should I go in and ask for a wheelchair? Maybe you shouldn’t be-”

 

“I’m okay,” Minhyuk mumbled rather dejectedly, but he really didn't look okay. His skin was still paling and he seemed to be sweating, Bin could only hope that it wasn't from a fever. Still, though, he held himself up and waited for Bin to climb out of the car, eyes on him.

 

“Don’t push yourself,” Bin said when he followed,  pulling Minhyuk’s arms around his shoulder, and wrapping his own around his waist - careful not to grab anywhere near the organ that was causing him all this pain. He hated this. He hated feeling how warm his skin was and he hated seeing the terrible shape he was in.

 

Minhyuk was started to double over only after a few steps, and despite his strained efforts to stay standing Bin was already helping him back to the concrete ground. This wasn’t going to work -

 

“I’m getting him a wheelchair.” Myungjun told him and Bin heard the kid whimper, but it was a better choice considering his options.

 

“Try to stay still,” Bin told Minhyuk softly after Myungjun scampered off.

 

He had a selfish thought, for a moment. He thought, okay, now he was the only one here with Minhyuk. The manager was off parking the car, and Dongmin and Jinwoo had already gone inside the emergency room to explain the situation, hopefully same some time waiting around.He wasn’t too sure where Sanha was - which was a little worrying, but he had to assume he was still in the car with their manager.

 

That meant he had to handle this himself.

 

But he stopped himself, because he remembered that really, Minhyuk was dealing with this all on his own. He was the one in terrible pain, he was the one literally steps away from being admitted to a hospital for  _ surgery _ .

 

Minhyuk picked up on it, though, because he always did.

 

“I’m sorry,” he breathed out, of course, feeling guilty when he didn’t need to. His voice sounded so shaky and when Bin finally looked down to him he saw his tears again - he never expected to see Minhyuk cry twice in one day. That just didn’t happen.

 

Bin’s hands hovered frantically but they landed on the dancer’s cheeks and wiped at his eyes, even when Minhyuk was refusing to look at him. “Please don’t be sorry,” Bin told him, wishing there was anything else he could say to help.

 

“You could be sleeping,” Minhyuk argued. Of course he would apologize for waking him. Of course he would do that.

 

“Rocky, I can make up sleep. We need to help you  _ now _ , yeah?” Bin reminded him, running a hand through his damp hair - damp from sweat, sweating from a fever. Shit.

 

“Still,” his voice broke off after that and he curled into Bin, 

 

Myungjun came back through the doors with two nurses, one with a clipboard and one with a wheelchair, both calmly following Myungjun. One was starting with a few questions - ‘is he taking any medication for anything?’ she’d ask; ‘I don’t know, I don’t think so,’ Myungjun would answer.

 

Bin wasn’t too sure that Minhyuk could even answer them himself.

 

After they managed to drag him up to the wheelchair, they were able to get him lying down on a cot in the emergency room - but Bin was getting frustrated just  _ listening  _ to all of these questions that the nurse was spouting at Minhyuk. He couldn’t imagine being the one lying there with a ticking time bomb of an appendix, trying to summon enough brain power to actually try and answer them through all the focus he had on the pain.

 

“Where is most of the pain right now?” she asked, adjusting her glasses. It angered Bin that this lady was so calmly asking questions - didn’t MJ say this could kill him if they wanted too long?

 

“Uhm,” Minhyuk was always looking around for help answering, even out of situations like this. Bin squeezed his hand - they couldn’t help him with this. Not a single part of it. “It was right here, on my side...but, it's not as bad right now.”

 

Bin kind of wanted to punch him for that, but he guessed that impulse would be counterproductive. “You don’t have to say that, Rocky - it’s not gonna change anything.” he would have kept his mouth shut, especially considering the situation he was in, he he needed Minhyuk to understand that lying wasn’t going to get him out of a surgery. He was pretty sure, from what Myungjun said, that this wasn’t really something that could just go away.

 

Minhyuk’s reaction was all confusion, as if he didn’t understand what Bin meant. “But I’m serious-”

 

“We’re going to go review everything with the doctor and then begin prep.” The second nurse, who had been mostly quiet, finally said. She was smiling at all three of them as if to bring some kind of reassurance - the nurse with the clipboard, however, was already on her way to find the doctor, rolling her eyes.

 

“ _ Dude, _ ” Myungjun was smiling wide as soon as the nurses were out of sight. “She’s totally a fan.”

 

Minhyuk seemed a little confused. “You think?”

 

Bin wasn’t really sure if this was an attempt to get Minhyuk’s mind off the situation, or if it had actual backing. He couldn’t say he was paying too much attention to her, his eyes were on Minhyuk the whole time. He raised a brow at Myungjun.

 

“Seriously! I saw her talking to the other nurse when I walked in, all embarrassed and nervous. I think she saw Jinny and Dongmin, maybe?” he tilted his head. Bin really wished he knew if this was a joke or not. If he were Minhyuk, seeing a fan in his condition right now would be the last thing he’d want for them. “Imagine:  _ Aroha  _ saving our Rocky’s life.”

 

“But I’m not dying.” Minhyuk murmured, just as embarrassed as Bin would have assumed.

 

Bin decided, now wasn’t the best time to speculate. “Where are they, anyway? Jinjin and Dongmin?”

 

“Sanha’s gone too.” Minhyuk commented quietly.

 

“Where’s Team Mom when you need him…” Myungjun sighed, scanning the emergency room for any sign of them - but, to no avail. “I didn’t see them, and they didn’t come in here much longer before we did. Maybe they’re with the doctor?”

 

“Yeah, they said that they’d go in to give information on him. But he already answered a lot of questions.” Bin shrugged.

 

“MJ?” Minhyuk spoke up, seemingly not very interested in where the others were. His hand was on his side again, and he was pressing on it, with little to no reaction. Strange, considering how badly it hurt him when Dongmin had tested it earlier. “What does it mean, if it doesn’t hurt anymore?”

 

Bin realized that this wasn’t just Minhyuk making stuff up to get out of the situation - it was a genuine question he was asking. Myungjun should have had the answer, of course, he’d gone through it himself. But he seemed just as confused as Minhyuk.

 

“It doesn’t hurt at all?” Myungjun raised a brow. He sounded a little worried.

 

“It’s not as bad as before,” he answered, “It’s just been, slowly stopping. Kind of.” Bin believed him. He did look a little better, and he was talking more. He wasn’t curled into a ball. He just seemed a little pale, tired - but he was still warm.

 

Myungjun was at a loss for answers, that was clear. “I don’t remember that happening to me. It never really stopped, or slowed down. Maybe it’s different for other people?”

 

That didn’t make a lot of sense. From Bin’s understanding, your organs didn’t really take breaks from trying to explode.

 

“It doesn’t mean you can go home, though.” Myungjun’s eyes narrowed, a little suspicious himself. Minhyuk nodded, understanding. That wasn’t his intention, it seemed. He pressed a hand to Minhyuk’s forehead for a moment. “And you still have a fever.”

 

“Hyung!” Sanha’s voice came out of nowhere and called to no one in particular, scanning the area for his members before running over. He stood at the front of the cot for a moment, eyeing all three of them, probably wondering where the others were but not asking where. “I was trying to charge my phone in the car. For Rocky to use.”

 

Myungjun frowned. “He has to go into surgery soon.”

 

Sanha shrugged. “Still.” 

 

Minhyuk didn’t really seem to care much, either, his mind now set on something else. “Come here,” he paused for a moment, something seeming to bother him for a moment but become irrelevant when his eyes met Sanha’s again, “I still have to show you Taemin’s new music video.” he insisted. Sanha nodded enthusiastically and wandered over, passing the cellphone to Minhyuk. Weird, how their maknaes worked - as if they’d forgotten what was going on.

 

Myungjun motioned for Bin to follow him a little further away, and he noticed very quickly how Myungjun tapped at his thigh.

 

“What’s up?” Bin murmured once they were a safe distance, still looking back at Minhyuk. He was glad the younger was feeling a bit better now, but something about this didn’t feel right. Didn’t make sense

 

“What if it’s not his appendix?” Myungjun mumbled back, peering around the area for the others. “It doesn’t make sense that it’s getting better. I don’t think that’s supposed to happen.”

 

Bin wasn’t really sure what to say, especially if the only one of them that had gone through something like this was having doubts. Bin had never even  _ heard  _ of an appendix before this had happened. 

 

He caught sight of Jinwoo, Dongmin and their manager, talking to a person that must’ve been a doctor rather far from the rest of them. He was glad they were all in the same place now, at least - maybe it was all a sign that things weren’t as bad as they were earlier.

 

Of course, though, the second he had that thought he heard Sanha yelling for help.

 

Once Bin had turned around there were already a three nurses approaching the cot Minhyuk was on, one urging a very shaky and frightened Sanha away from them despite his best efforts to stay close. Bin hurried over, realizing that something was very wrong - initially he would have thought they must have started preparing him for the surgery and needed Sanha to move, but he wouldn’t be yelling for help because of that. The phone wouldn’t be on the floor for that reason, either.

 

“What’s going on-” Myungjun was already past Bin when he choked the words out, and despite his words, Bin had a feeling that Myungjun knew what was going on - he just needed to confirm it.

 

The nurses didn’t seem to know either, at first. Minhyuk was curled over, holding himself in the same way he’d done when Bin first found him, and his heart sank. The nurse was trying to push him back down and through that he realized one, just how much pain he was suddenly in again, and two, that he’d thrown up on the sheets.

 

The nurse pressed in the middle of his abdomen and he gave the same reaction he did when Dongmin had done that earlier, and suddenly Bin remembered what Myungjun had told them.

 

_ “If it's burst, it'll hurt all over,” _

 

But that couldn’t be. It couldn’t burst if it had only started this morning.

 

Either that, or Minhyuk was hiding this from them a lot longer than they’d thought.

 

“We’re going to do a CT scan with him just to make sure this isn’t something else, and to see just where the infection has spread.” The nurse that tried and failed to hold Sanha back told all three of them, giving a rather awkward smile. It was the same one Myungjun had claimed to be a fan.

 

“Infection?” Bin hardly squeaked out, eyes terrified and fixated on Minhyuk. His eyes were screwed shut and he seemed to be trying so hard to ignore the pain.

 

“It’s common from a burst appendix.” Of course, the sentence that none of them wanted to hear.

 

Bin felt his head start to float, about ready to pass out. They were holding him down and trying to calm him, but the look he gave the rest of them was one just begging them to take him away from here, to take him  _ home _ , and god, Bin wished he could do that for him.

 

“Is he allergic to any anesthetics?” One of the nurses asked, already with the face mask in hand.

 

Bin shook his head and pushed past the others to get to Minhyuk, taking his hand again. Minhyuk was struggling against the nurses, Shaking and close to tears, clearly in a lot more pain that he had been earlier.

 

“You’re gonna be okay,” Bin found himself telling him this again, still, not sure if he was right - and he doubted it was comforting to Minhyuk to see Bin so afraid and worried. “I promise, ok? We’ll be here when you wake up-”

 

The nurse in charge moved him to press the face mask to Minhyuk’s mouth, administering the anesthetic. Minhyuk’s eyes were wild, his hand gripping Bin’s back with as much force as he could -

 

And before Bin could say anything else, they finally pushed the rest of them away.

 

* * *

 

“You’re saying that he’s had this longer than since this morning?”

 

Bin didn’t like the tone Dongmin used towards the nurse - he sounded angry.

 

“It’s unlikely for an appendix to rupture in under twenty four hours, so it’s more possibly that he’s had symptoms for longer than since this morning.” The new nurse answered him. “Of course, it’s easy to mistake appendicitis as other things, so it’s very likely he just didn’t know.”

 

“The problem is that none of us knew about it.” Dongmin seemed to mutter more under his breath than to the doctor.

 

Myungjun didn’t seem to like the tenseness either, so he quickly shifted the conversation. “How long did you say the surgery takes?”

 

Jinwoo, who was sitting closely beside Myungjun - very visibly stressed, still holding back tears - perked his head up for an answer. Myungjun had had his hand on Jinwoo’s back ever since he’d sat beside him. Of course, their leader was taking a lot of the responsibility on himself, even if there was nothing he could have done to help.

 

“Normally, they can get it done in about half an hour. But, since it ruptured, it could take longer.” he answered him.

 

“And he’s gonna be okay, right?” Myungjun asked, clearly just trying to prove it to Jinwoo.

 

“Other than the regular complications, it’s a fairly easy procedure that they’ve done hundreds of times before. The rupture complicates things, but, he’ll be okay.”

 

Myungjun turned his head to Jinwoo, mumbling a ‘see?’ with a small smile.

 

The nurse wandered off after a few more questions from Dongmin, and the room was tense again. Sanha was more quiet than Bin had ever seen him, which was off putting. He didn’t want their youngest to have to handle a situation like this.

 

“I can’t believe he didn’t say anything.” Dongmin muttered, frustrated. “This wouldn’t have happened if he just-”

 

“ _ Please _ , stop blaming him,” Bin finally snapped, taking a step forward to Dongmin wouldn’t be able to brush him off. “You need to understand that his mind works different from yours. He’s not gonna come to you about something he thinks isn’t important.”

 

“Well, then, he needs to change it. We’re a  _ team _ , we can’t just be hiding things from each other.” Dongmin’s message was sincere, and Bin agreed wholeheartedly, but it was a message coming from a hypocrite.

 

“Who was the person that was too sick to continue his schedules, that time after one of our concerts?” Bin realized he was raising his voice more than he should have been, but he had to get his point across. “You?”

 

Dongmin was cornered. “That was different-”

 

“Really? Cause, I remember only finding out about it when we found you crying.” Bin murmured. “Doesn’t sound very different from this.”

 

The room was quiet, strangely enough. On the rare occasions that the two of their tempers got out of hand, and they argued, Myungjun or Jinwoo would scold them out of it. Now, though, they said nothing.

 

Dongmin stopped trying to argue; he was silent now. He realized there wasn’t a point to keep deflecting.

 

“I’m not trying to guilt you with this, Min.” Bin said a lot more quietly, this time. “You’re right, we shouldn’t hide things from each other. But he’s been thinking that way for a long time. If you want someone to blame, please don’t blame him. It’s my fault, I should’ve noticed.” he didn’t need to say it, but they all knew that Bin had known Minhyuk much longer than the rest of them, and that he could read him well.

 

“It’s not just yours. None of us noticed, and we should have.” Jinwoo murmured, finally.

 

“It’s weird, though. I only notice things now.” Sanha mumbled, staring at the floor. “Like, how he didn’t stretch as long as he normally does, yesterday and today. And how he went to bed to early.”

 

“You’re right.” Myungjun sighed. “We need to watch out for each other better.”

 

“He’s always the reliable one, maybe we should be too.” Bin shrugged in suggestion, trying for a smile - but he realized now, after focusing on Dongmin again, that he was crying.

 

Bin was confused for a second but he didn’t waste time to pull Dongmin into a hug. He knew he was worried; he and Jinwoo especially, considering how they weren’t there for any of it. Jinwoo nearly passed out when they had to tell him that Minhyuk’s appendix burst, but Dongmin seemed to be trying his best to hold it together, more out of trying to understand.

 

Bin supposed he was finally breaking now.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he huffed, pulling one of his arms out of the grip to wipe at his eyes. “I’m just worried.”

 

They all were.

 

“He’s gonna be okay. I promised him that.” Bin smiled, and he had to believe it himself, or else no one else would. Not even Minhyuk, who was medically asleep and in surgery.

  
Now, he just needed to wait on Minhyuk to get out of surgery to prove it to the rest of them, that maybe Minhyuk cracked today, but he wasn’t about to lose his title as  _ unbreakable Rock. _ Not today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried my very best for accuracy w all the medical/hospital related stuff but I am not a doctor and I've never experienced appendicitis so I'm sorry for any inaccuracies!!
> 
> Again, this isn't the last chapter!! One more left, I think?? haha


	3. breakdown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You can’t be having these little arguments. Not here. I know that you’re frustrated, I know that you’re scared. But don’t take it out on anyone.” his voice was soft, eyebrows pressed together. “And I know Rocky would say the same thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally!! new chapter omg. this one's a bit longer than the other two but that's a good thing right?? haha
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy it!! I changed the number of chapters that this will have so it's not the last one! disclaimer, Ive never been to a hospital in my life but I'm trying my best so I hope the info is accurate! if not,, oh well omg it's just fiction right!! ♥

“I wonder if he'll be loopy, from the anesthesia. That'd be funny.” Myungjun said mostly out of nowhere, to the only other conscious member in the room.

 

Myungjun sounded fairly exhausted, to say the least, and he looked it, too. His eyes were drooping, dark circles pulling at them. Bin had initially found Minhyuk in their living room at around ten. He guessed, now, it was around two or three in the morning. No wonder he was so tired.

 

Jinwoo was asleep against Myungjun, carefully curled close to him. He'd fallen asleep hours ago, thankfully. Jinwoo was the most anxious and worried, physically; Bin couldn't imagine how much all the shaking and crying had drained him. He was glad Myungjun was by his side, though.

 

Bin decided he'd go along with Myungjun’s effort to start up some conversation, because it was the least he could do. Myungjun tended to cope through humor, and maybe it was better for Bin, too. He couldn’t exactly sleep, anyway.

 

“I remember, once, when we were trainees,” Bin started, speaking softly as he recalled the story, “Rocky fell really hard on his face, and cracked a tooth. And they had to remove it.” Bin liked the smile that was growing on Myungjun’s lips.  He probably knew where the story was headed. “So, the dentist put him under to remove and replace it. And when he came back, he thought I was Taemin, and he started crying. And then, maybe...a week later, one night, he asked me, if Taemin came to visit him when he got his tooth removed.”

 

“Oh my god,” Myungjun snorted, trying to keep quiet. “He’s so embarrassing. We should try that again.”

 

“That'd be funny.” Bin giggled a bit, but the room was quiet again after that.

 

Bin couldn't sleep, even if nearly everyone else was. There was too much going on on his head, his mind going through too many thoughts at once.

 

He wondered what would have happened if he didn’t hear Minhyuk crying outside his room, if he decided it wasn’t important enough to go check things out. He remembered a nurse saying the burst appendix was causing an infection, and he started to wonder that if, by the time everyone else was up, Minhyuk - Minhyuk could have been  _ dead. _

 

Maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration on his part, but it was enough to force tears back into his eyes again.

 

He should’ve noticed.

 

Minhyuk was  _ always  _ there for him, and he had been since they’d met. Minhyuk would never hesitate to give Bin pointers during dance practice, and even if Bin found it annoying sometimes, he knew it made him a better dancer. Minhyuk would even do stupid things like come up with reasons for the staff for why Bin was skipping school, even if he knew the both of them would get in trouble for it.

 

Minhyuk always had his back, but Bin’s mind wouldn’t let him recall a single time things worked the other way around.

 

Minhyuk was unbreakable, and when he wasn’t, he was on his own. He was hiding. Because, he didn’t want anyone to know that their reliable friend needed others to rely on, sometimes, too.

 

Bin didn’t realize he was crying until he felt Dongmin’s hand on his cheek, wiping at his tears. He wasn’t even aware that Dongmin was awake until that moment, and he had to wonder just how long he’d been inside his thoughts.

 

“Don’t cry, love.” Dongmin murmured softly, pulling Bin close to him. He felt his hand sweep through his hair and the other running along his spine. It was comforting and Bin fell into the touch, but his tears didn’t stop. “You said it yourself, remember? He’ll be okay.”

 

Dongmin sounded so sure, his voice so calm and steady, Bin only wished he could share that feeling. It wasn’t even just the fear that Minhyuk wouldn’t be okay, but also the number of times Minhyuk could have hidden things - injuries, emotions - and Bin would have had no idea.

 

“Min,” Bin mumbled through a choked sob, “I’m - I’m a shitty best friend.”

 

“No, no you’re not,” he could feel Dongmin slowly shaking his head, “If that were true, Minhyuk wouldn’t be constantly reminding us that you two are the  _ ancestors _ .”

 

Bin felt himself smile at that. He was right with that, at least - Minhyuk was  _ very  _ proud to have known Bin as long as he did. Bin would argue to say he was even prouder. “Still, I...I should’ve noticed.”

 

“Worry about that later.” Dongmin advised, and strangely enough, Bin felt the weight start to lift from his chest. “Sleep for a bit, okay?”

 

Bin’s eyes were shut before he even heard the end of the sentence.

 

* * *

 

Jinwoo could feel Myungjun squirming next to him when he felt consciousness finally tugging at his brain again.

 

“Hyung,” he murmured sleepily, more of a statement saying ‘hey, I’m awake’ than anything else. Myungjun made a little squeak of surprise just after, and suddenly settled back down to where he sat with Jinwoo.

 

“Did I wake you up?” Myungjun sounded a little worried, maybe upset, too, but mostly, wide awake. Jinwoo found that a bit odd. He wasn’t exactly sure how long he’d been sleeping, but if Myungjun sounded  _ that  _ awake, it was a pretty clear sign that the latter hadn’t slept at all.

 

Jinwoo didn’t really want Myungjun to worry that he did, in fact, wake him up, so he deflected the question. “Where’re you going?”

 

“Water.” Myungjun shrugged.

 

“I’ll come.” Jinwoo said, stretching his arms out a bit.

 

Myungjun raised a brow. It was probably strange for him to see Jinwoo willingly deny a chance to go back to sleep. “You sure?”

 

“Mm.”

 

Myungjun helped pull Jinwoo from his seat, and there was a sort of unfamiliarity that started to settle in the pit of his stomach, although, he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it came from, and it didn’t seem to bother Myungjun.

 

Jinwoo felt his mind start an aggressive downward spiral once they stepped out of the waiting room, suddenly remembering that they were in a hospital - suddenly remembering what happened to Minhyuk.

 

He almost stumbled, backing up against the door they’d just closed. His mind didn’t seem to comprehend everything that had only happened a few hours ago until he was confronted with it. His eyes stung with tears again - how long had it been since they heard anything? Did the surgery go well? Was Minhyuk even  _ alive - _

 

“Hey, you,” Myungjun’s hand slipped in to grip Jinwoo’s, “don’t freak out. He’ll be okay.”

 

Jinwoo had really heard that enough times for it to lose its meaning, but he appreciated Myungjun’s effort.

 

“Did they say anything?” Jinwoo mumbled, pulling a little closer to Myungjun. “About Minhyuk? Like, is he still-”

 

“They haven’t come back yet. It’s been...almost two hours, I think.” Myungjun’s voice was quieter than he’d heard it all day, certainly a concerning fact.

 

“Two..?” Jinwoo’s voice was equally as quiet.

 

Myungjun’s eyes were in a different place now, staring off into the corner of the floor. It wasn’t often that Jinwoo saw their oldest acting like this, but he supposed, now would be the time to see it. Now, in the lights of the hospital halls he could see Myungjun better, he could see how sunken his eyes were, how tired he looked. Jinwoo felt terrible - he doubted Myungjun had slept at all.

 

“You should stay in the room, I’ll get you water.” Jinwoo nodded, squeezing Myungjun’s hand in attempt to pull him out of whatever thoughts he was starting to dive in to. “I should probably get some for everyone.”

 

Myungjun frowned. “You’re gonna need help carrying it all.”

 

Jinwoo, though, smiled. “I’ll be okay.”

 

“You’re dumb. I’m supposed to be helping you.” Myungjun smiled back at him, walking towards the waiting room lobby despite Jinwoo’s offer.

 

Despite it being in the very late hours of the night, the hospital still carried on as if it were day time, except, everyone was ten times as tired. Jinwoo wasn't a fan of the hospital smells for sure, or the white walls and bright lights, for that matter.

 

He had to worry about Minhyuk, though, because he knew their dancer hated it the most, and he couldn't imagine being in the situation that he was in. Minhyuk would get visibly anxious over something as small as a finger prick. And right now, there were doctors digging around in his abdomen.

 

Jinwoo hoped with everything he had that the surgery would go well enough for them to be there when he woke up, because he knew that waking up to white walls and scary looking doctors,  _ alone _ , would scare him a lot more than the hospital itself would.

 

Myungjun busied himself filling cups of water for the other members, tiredly humming a song Jinwoo couldn't name, turned away from Jinwoo. He scanned the quiet waiting room meanwhile, looking for any familiar staff he could maybe ask for an update on their dancer’s condition. There didn't seem to be many out, though.

 

He heard Myungjun sniffle, which wouldn't have been odd if Myungjun didn't try to cover it up with a forced cough.

 

Jinwoo took his shoulder and urged him to sit down on the seats right beside the water fountain, and the older made sure to cover his eyes before Jinwoo could see, and he hated that he felt the need to do that.

 

“You should drink some too,” Jinwoo offered, taking one of the cups Myungjun had filled for the others. He worried internally because he knew Myungjun would hate it if Jinwoo paid attention to his tears, and he knew it wouldn’t help if he did. They were all crying for the same reason.

 

Myungjun took a few sips from the cup, sniffling in between - eyes red from crying, stress. The poor guy was probably exhausted beyond words, too.

 

“Ahh...you're here for Park Minhyuk, correct?”

 

The nurse was rather close all of a sudden and Jinwoo almost jumped, not expecting her at all. She had a neutral expression - Jinwoo couldn't foresee the kind of news she was about to give them.

 

Myungjun busied himself with drying his eyes while Jinwoo turner to face her straight away, almost standing until she urged him to stay down.

 

“Is he out?” Jinwoo asked, voice a little shakier than he meant it to be.

 

“He's out.” The nurse nodded. “It took longer than a normal appendectomy because it had burst, but the surgery went well and they were able to drain the abscess, and there’s a tube in place for the rest. He seems to be doing okay right now, aside from the fever and vomiting. He was given antibiotics and pain medication, and a nasogastric tube to keep his stomach empty.”

 

“Wait, so -” Jinwoo needed a moment to wrap his head around what she had just told the two of them The whole doctor talk was a bit too much for his sleepy brain to handle. “He’s awake, then. Right?”

 

“He was when I was in there last.” she nodded. “Would you like to see him?”

 

Maybe Jinwoo stood a little too quickly, maybe it was enough to make his head swim, but he and Myungjun were already close behind the nurse, following her to Minhyuk’s room.

 

Minhyuk looked absolutely dead, as if someone had beaten the spirit out of him.

 

“Hey, Rocky,” Jinwoo started after getting the okay from the nurse. At first, Minhyuk didn't really react. He was staring off at something, his eyes sunken and looking like he hadn't slept in days. “What're you awake for? I bet you're tired.”

 

Minhyuk only really turned his head when Jinwoo was beside the cot, although his expression didn't really change. He didn't say anything, either, and Jinwoo was panicking more than he would've liked to admit.

 

It didn't make sense to see him like this, not at all. There was some sort of tube in his nose, and another one in his arm, perhaps an IV. It was even strange to see him in the hospital gown.

 

Jinwoo might've been passing off his own anxieties of hospitals as worries, though.

 

“They must've made him loopy.” Myungjun suggested when he was standing beside Jinwoo, thankfully, not crying anymore.

 

“‘M not loopy.” Minhyuk finally said, looking sort of offended, but definitely sounding very loopy.

 

Myungjun giggled. “You're not?”

 

Minhyuk shook his head a few times to get his point across. Not that either of them believed him.

 

“Well, good. Cause we're gonna need you to start writing some lyrics right now.” Myungjun snickered when he snatched the clipboard hanging at the cot, doubting Minhyuk had any idea what it was really for.

 

Minhyuk, though, didn't find it as funny. Jinwoo could only tell based on the mixture of panic and confusion in his eyes, barely clouded by the medication.

 

“He's just kidding.” Jinwoo said softly, smiled at him, and squeezed his arm a bit. It was weird touching him. He felt as if he hadn't seen him in a very long time.

 

“Oh.” Minhyuk suddenly looked relieved. “Yeah, uh...I know. ‘Cause I'm not loopy.”

 

“Sure.” Jinwoo giggled again.

 

Jinwoo heard a little gasp behind him that wasn't Myungjun, but Sanha, who must've just walked in. His eyes were wide more out of curiosity than anything else, it seemed, and Jinwoo wondered if he'd ever been in a hospital room before.

 

“There's a  _ tube _ in your nose,” Sanha blurted out, sounding rather fascinated. Minhyuk, though, didn't seem to understand until his hands hovered around his face.

 

“Whoa,” he murmured, looking a little overwhelmed at that.

 

“You don't feel that?” Myungjun asked, an eyebrow raised as he approached the other side of the bed, opposite from where Jinwoo stood. Minhyuk shook his head, trying to figure out how to breathe through his nose like that.

 

“Might be because of whatever they gave you for the pain,” Jinwoo suggested, “That's why you don't feel it.”

 

“Oh,” Minhyuk mumbled, more out of an automated response. Jinwoo wondered if Minhyuk was even aware of why he was in the hospital, but he didn't seem to care enough to ask. He was starting to look a little sleepy, judging by the way his eyes fell half lidded, but he continued fiddling with the tube.

 

“Should I wake up Eunwoo hyung and Bin hyung?” Sanha asked after a bit more observing, asking Jinwoo for permission.

 

“If they're asleep, I wouldn't.” Jinwoo advised. It might be better for Minhyuk to only have a few of them in here at a time, anyway, especially when the medication would start to wear off.

 

Jinwoo was also a little worried about what Dongmin would say. Of course, he trusted the younger not to lose his cool with Minhyuk, especially with the latter like this, but he couldn't be sure. It was high stress for all of them, and he didn't want to risk any arguing until he had a chance to talk to him about it.

 

“Did he fall asleep?” Sanha asked, sounding a little disappointed. He didn't blame him, though. Of course he wanted to talk to him, they all did. They hadn't seen him well in hours.

 

“You two should sleep to. Especially you.” Jinwoo suggested, eyeing Myungjun. 

 

He wasn't going to give Myungjun any room to argue. He saw the latter part his lips to do just that but Jinwoo just shook his head. Myungjun needed rest just as much as Minhyuk did.

 

“I'll stay here in case he wakes up. I don't really want him to be alone like this.” Jinwoo explained. Minhyuk seemed fine now, that was true - but Jinwoo couldn't speak for later, for when after the anesthetic would wear off completely.

 

Myungjun sighed. He didn't seem to like Jinwoo’s plan, but he knew that he couldn't object to sleep either. “Okay. But wake me up if you need anything.”

 

“Or if something happens.” Sanha murmured.

 

Jinwoo really hoped he wouldn't need to wake them.

 

* * *

 

Dongmin was standing in the doorway when Jinwoo turned around.

 

He couldn't be sure how long he'd been lingering there, because Jinwoo wasn't even sure how long he'd been awake. The chair he'd taken a seat in wasn't comfortable but it was enough to allow him to doze off, although again, he had no concept of how long.

 

“That's kind of creepy.” Jinwoo tried to joke, but Dongmin didn't seem to hear him. His eyes were focused on the bed.

 

Dongmin really looked incredibly stressed, Jinwoo could tell that just by how he was carrying himself. He looked to be holding his breath and his eyes were sort of watery; he could see his teeth digging into his lips. He was suspecting incoming tears.

 

Jinwoo wasn't sure if this was all centered on Minhyuk. Something didn't seem right.

 

“Who taught you to ignore your hyungs like that?” Jinwoo tried for something lighthearted again. Dongmin mumbled an apology and rubbed at his eyes, taking a shaky breath.

 

“Is he okay?” Dongmin asked very quietly. He still wasn't looking at Jinwoo, and now it seemed his eyes weren't quite on Minhyuk either. He was just staring off somewhere.

 

“He's okay. Just sleeping.” Jinwoo gave the easy answer. He wasn't too sure on the younger’s condition, as he'd been asleep the whole time. “Hey, what's going on with you?”

 

“I-” he exhaled, now, and Jinwoo wondered just how much he was rationing his breaths. “I...I need to work on thinking before talking, you know?”

 

For some reason, that was all Jinwoo needed to hear to know that Dongmin and Bin must have got into an argument. Which sucked, because they seemed to be fine after their little squabble earlier.

 

That was usually the culprit - talking before thinking - it was usually what Bin would accuse him of. Dongmin would do a lot of things when he was stressed. He would say things he didn't mean, he would make decisions before he really thought about them. It was a fault he was trying to fix, but sometimes, it slipped through again.

 

“I'm worried too,” Dongmin mumbled, his voice on the verge of tears, “he acts like he thinks I don't care. Like he thinks I only want to punish him. And, I don't, I just...I'm afraid of something like this happening again. And you know how he is.”

 

Jinwoo sighed. “If he knows now that this is the consequence he'll try harder to avoid it next time.” he agreed, coming to the same realization as he spoke the words.

 

“Yeah,” Dongmin rubbed at his eyes, “that's all. I don't...I'm  _ really  _ not trying to be mean. He just...he needs to know.”

 

Dongmin wandered over to the other side of the bed, his shaky hands gripping the rails that ran along the side of the bed. Jinwoo finally laid eyes on Minhyuk, too, finding him to be a bit paler than before. His eyes were shut but they seemed to be forced closed - he wasn't awake, however.

 

“Where's Bin?” Jinwoo asked, figuring maybe he'd go talk to him instead of leaving this situation lingering like it was.

 

“Sanha said something about getting breakfast earlier...so maybe he went to the cafeteria with him.”

 

“And you're not gonna eat?” Jinwoo raised a brow.

 

“Later.” He murmured in response. Of course, he was just doing this to avoid contact with Bin. Childish, Jinwoo thought, but he wasn't at all surprised at this point

 

Jinwoo nodded, deciding to accept that. “‘kay, I'm gonna go get something to eat. You mind staying here until then?” he asked.

 

“Of course not.” his voice grew tiny. Jinwoo almost didn't hear him.

 

Jinwoo did some thinking on his way to the food court.

 

He was noticing just how much this was hurting everyone, and he couldn't imagine being in Minhyuk's position because of it. Myungjun was hardly sleeping, if at all. Sanha was acting off, and quiet. Bin and Dongmin were arguing. He was glad Minhyuk was asleep, and didn't have to know about any of this. He believed it'd scare him more.

 

Bin was really going far enough to avoid Dongmin that he didn't go to see Minhyuk right away, which was a bit scary. He doubted Dongmin took back what he said, he doubted the latter went out of his way to try and make things up, but he also doubted that Bin gave him any room to.

 

They had these weird arguments sometimes, both dragged out because of their individual need to be right.

 

He wouldn't let them drag it out long enough for Minhyuk to see it, though. Hell no.

 

Upon entering the cafeteria, he spotted Myungjun fairly quickly, with his face against the table and arms hanging at his side. Jinwoo worried for a second that something was wrong but he soon realized that Myungjun had just found an inconvenient spot to sleep.

 

Jinwoo pulled an extra chair to the round table, where two empty ones already stood, which he assumed were for Bin and Sanha. Myungjun didn't budge, and while he was glad to see the latter sleeping, he realized it must've been uncomfortable.

 

“Hyung?” Sanha seemed to be double checking when he wandered over with a tray. “How's Rocky doing? Is he awake?”

 

Sanha looked a little hopeful, but the bags pulling under his eyes seemed to be the same as the negativity holding back any light in his voice. 

 

“He's alright, still asleep though.” Jinwoo shrugged.

 

He noticed now that, somehow, Sanha was carrying six trays of food in his arms.

 

“What are you doing?” he decided to ask, a brow raised. Sanha, however, didn’t seem to understand until the trays were on the table, and maybe it was at that point that he realized himself, it was a bit much.

 

“I was getting food for everyone,” Sanha explained, as if it was obvious. Maybe it was.

 

“You don’t have to do that.” Jinwoo frowned.

 

“I want to.” Sanha shrugged, taking a seat at the table. “Cause, like, MJ hyung’s asleep. And, Bin didn’t wanna come out of the waiting room. You were with Rocky, I think you were asleep too. And, Eunwoo hyung said he was going to find you. And Rocky can’t get his own food.”

 

Jinwoo was forced to realize at that moment, that their youngest was taking more responsibility than himself - and he was the _ leader _ . What on earth was he doing? “I’m so sorry, Sanha.”

 

He expected Sanha to ask, ‘what for’, but he didn’t. Somehow, he knew exactly what Jinwoo was thinking, but he didn’t seem to mind as much as Jinwoo did. “It’s okay. It’s just food.”

 

Even so, he thought back on everything that happened that night, and realized that since Minhyuk had went into surgery, Sanha was the only one who didn’t have some sort of breakdown. It was odd to think that Sanha was handling this better than everyone else, but Jinwoo hoped that he wasn't holding back his feelings just because everyone else was in crisis mode.

 

“Come on, let’s bring these back into the private room. I’ll help you carry them.” Jinwoo insisted, making sure to wake their eldest member before taking some of the trays. Myungjun didn’t react much other than a groan, before he pulled himself up. Jinwoo wouldn’t have been all that surprised if Myungjun was sleeping walking.

 

“Are you sure?” Sanha murmured, a little skeptical as he went to grab the remaining trays.

 

“Yeah, ‘course I am. Why?” Jinwoo asked, pulling Myungjun in the direction they were headed before the latter wandered anywhere else. “Because of Bin?”

 

“I mean...yeah, kinda.” Sanha shrugged, looking a little nervous. “He, uh...kinda told us to leave?” That wasn’t a good sign either.

 

Jinwoo let out a sign, starting to walk in the direction of their room. “I’ll talk to him. We’re not gonna do these dumb arguments, not today. Not here.” he felt a bit of anger bubbling up in his chest, mostly because he really hated that the two of them were dragging Sanha into this.

 

Thankfully the walk wasn’t too long, but maybe, Jinwoo was walking a little faster than he normally would have, simply out of anger.

 

Jinwoo walked in first after Myungjun opened the door for him, and he saw Bin right away - curled up in the corner with a bitter expression of his face - he seemed about a second away from snapping at the three of them, but the second he made eye contact with Jinwoo was the second his expression went blank.

 

“Good morning,” he said casually, dropping one of the trays in front of Bin before taking his own, and backing up to sit at the opposite end of the room. He just kept staring forward, though, wondering if Bin would have the guts to say anything.

 

Bin looked completely shocked, to say the least. His eyes were wide but his mouth was sewn shut, and at this point he probably realized that he was in trouble.

 

“Um...good morning, hyung.” Bin mumbled awkwardly, looking almost afraid to grab anything from his tray.

 

Sanha and Myungjun were as far as possible from the two, eating their food and eyes anywhere but at them. Smart.

 

“Look, uh,” Bin huffed, his lips pressing into a line with a heavy sigh through his nose. He wasn’t looking at Jinwoo anymore. “I know you’re probably on Dongmin’s side - ”

 

“I’m not on anyone’s side.” Jinwoo corrected. “I think you’re both acting stupid.”

 

Bin’s eye twitched, now, and Jinwoo had to guess it was out of anger based on how his tone changed. “ _ Stupid? _ You’re telling me, that you think Dongmin blaming Minhyuk for this is  _ okay _ -”

 

“I didn’t say-”

 

“Shut up, don’t interrupt me!” Bin snapped, and frankly, Jinwoo was too surprised at the outburst to shut him down. Bin was chewing his lip out of frustration now, but his eyes were still at the floor. “You can’t - just - he can’t say that it’s his fault! It’s  _ not,  _ and if he thinks that punishing him is going to fix this it’s  _ not- _ ”

 

Bin went silent for a moment after that, his lips pressed together again but this time it was to hold back incoming tears. “It’s just,” he said in a shaky, quiet tone, “it’s not...it’s not his fault, okay?”

 

“You’re right,” Jinwoo said, lowering his voice a bit too. “I wasn’t saying that it was. And Dongmin wasn’t saying that either.”

 

Bin seemed to want to argue with that, but he didn’t.

 

“Even if you don’t think so, Dongmin’s just as worried as you are.” he reminded him. “And, even if I don’t think we should scold Rocky for something that wasn’t in his control, what you’re doing isn’t right either.  _ Especially _ telling these two to leave.”

 

Jinwoo caught Myungjun slowly nodding out of the corner of his eye, but he didn’t have anything to add.

 

“You can’t be having these little arguments. Not here. I  _ know  _ that you’re frustrated, Bin, I know that you’re scared. But don’t take it out on anyone.” his voice was soft, eyebrows pressed together. “And I know Rocky would say the same thing.”

 

And, finally, Bin broke down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I met astro in NYC about 2 weeks ago and I'm really still not over it oh my gosh. i'm a wimp, during the hitouch I could only look MJ and Rocky in the eyes (um,,, Sanha is SO TALL WHAT) but listen, seeing rocky smile at me is something I will never forget,, his eyes were so sparkly and his skin was so smooth im literally melting
> 
> if u wanna see any pictures/videos/my fan account of what happened, from the fanmeet check out my [tumblr](http://radamn.tumblr.com) and look up 180209!! Or if you wanna just talk to me I'd love that too oml. Thank you!!


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